What Her Online Dating Profile Secretly Says About Her
Online dating has its obvious pros and pitfalls. On one hand, landing a date is easier than ever thanks to dating apps that connect you with potential love interests in your immediate area — without having to do the legwork of meeting someone at a bar, shelling out money to buy a girl a drink or even put on pants and actually leave your house. As for the downside, trying your luck on online dating apps can kind of feel like that line from Forrest Gump: “You never know what you’re going to get.”
So, how can you figure out what a girl is really like from her online dating profile? We asked a few experts (and some real women who use online dating) to share what different types of profiles can say about a woman. Here’s how to read between the lines.
The Travel Fanatic
If you come across a profile full of travel photos, quotes about wanderlust and the like, relationship expert Robert Weiss says this could be a good fit if you feel the same way about exploring new things. “If you’re a guy who likes travel and adventure, this woman might be a good match for you,” he says. “What she’s not going to want to do is sit on the couch on a Sunday afternoon and watch football.” But Eric Resnick, lead dating coach at ProfileHelper.com warns that this could also mean she’s less commitment-oriented. “When talking about younger women, you are usually seeing women who value experiences over earnings,” he says. “They are free spirits and not always looking for a committed relationship.” It’ll help you to decide if that matches what you’re looking for.
What Real Women Say: “I’m looking for a guy who can keep up with me,” says Sarah, 26. “The last relationship I was in was with a guy who was more of a homebody. We took the same summer vacation together for the three years we were dating… to a beach town an hour or so away from where we live. My profile says I need a guy who wants to see and try everything, the way that I do.”
The One Who Loves To Laugh
Seeing the quote “live, laugh love” or that she “loves to laugh” on a profile might mean just that — but if that’s all she has to say, Weiss says to proceed with caution. “People who feel a need to tell you how much fun (or nice, or spiritual, or humble) they are don’t always deliver on that promise,” he says. “So this woman might really be fun to spend time with. Or she might not. If she’s got lots of pictures of herself with friends and family and everybody is smiling in them, she’s probably pretty awesome.” However, there could also be a bunch of red flags that suggest she’s not as upbeat as she’s letting on.
What Real Women Say: “I’m generally a happy person and want my profile to reflect that,” says Susan, 30. “I don’t take life too seriously and I always find the fun in what I’m doing, and the right guy for me would be someone who appreciates that and does the same.”
The Fitness Fanatic
If she describes herself as “active” and most of her photos involve some type of sport or workout, Resnick says she’s putting out a very clear message for who she’s trying to attract. “Fat guys need not apply,” he says. “That’s sort of the simple version of it, but people who take their fitness and activity this seriously are driven and looking for someone who generally fits with their lifestyle or helps take it to the next notch. If you think you can keep up with these women because ‘you don’t mind going for a hike once in a while,’ you are fooling yourself.”
What Real Women Say: “I work hard on my body,” says Christie, 27. “While I don’t need the guy I’m dating to be up for a ten mile run every weekend, I would start to resent a partner who was a total couch potato and never wanted to do anything active, which is why I make sure I’m upfront about the way I live.”
The One Who’s Straight Up
Whether she’s letting the world know that bad guys need not apply or including her height and Instagram profile for reference, Weiss says an overly honest profile is typically a good sign. “This is a no bullsh*t girl, and good for her,” says Weiss. “She knows what she wants, and she’d prefer that posers not waste her time. If you’re digging her look and her vibe, you should definitely let her know, and don’t beat around the bush about that fact.” However, it the profile is too “in your face,” she could be using that straightforward attitude as a defense mechanism. “This is a case of someone wearing their baggage on their sleeve,” says Resnick. He says they might be approaching the whole dating process “from an extremely defensive position” and if you’re looking for a low-drama casual relationship, that type of person might not be a good fit for you.
What Real Women Say: “First and foremost, I bring up my height,” says Julie, 27. “Men can be so sensitive about dating a tall woman, so I like to bring it up right away. I also link to my Instagram because the last thing I want a dude to ever say is that he was catfished by me. Full transparency, bro.”
The One Who’s Snarky As Hell
She’s sarcastic and slightly mean spirited… and you’re intrigued. But according to Resnick, this is probably not someone you want to meet up with. “If they are being standoffish in the one place where they should be actively trying to attract attention, than you can only imagine how they are going to be in person,” he says. “I’m not saying a profile should try to please everyone, it should actually try to repel the people who aren’t a good match, but language like this is just toxic.” If you’re both snarky, this could be a match made in heaven, but if you’re a
What Real Women Say: “I am who I am and I’m not going to sugarcoat it on my profile,” says Jessica, 24. “Guys who easily get their feelings hurt aren’t going to be a good match for me anyway, so I think my profile sets the tone for what type of person I am.”