Trending News: Thought Cuffing Season Was Bad? Welcome To Clearing Season
Long Story Short
Vice has coined a new dating period to make you hate our society, and it’s happening right now.
And here you thought cuffing season was the end of it? Ha.
You’ve probably heard about cuffing season by now, but essentially it’s the period between the end of summer and Thanksgiving-ish when you’re frantically trying to find someone to bunk up with for the winter. Well, it has a second section, and it’s not pretty.
Let’s spin the wheel of time back to November or December. ‘F*ck cuffing season,’ you say confidently. ‘I don’t need anyone.’ Yeah!
December strikes and you’re doing great. Your city looks beautiful all lit up and you’re full of stuffing. December zooms by and you’re pumped that you’re single for New Year’s eve. All the more single ladies to kiss, you think.
You dance all night, but you end up kiss-less. As you stand there alone on the dance floor, you try and remember your defiant anti-cuffing self, but for some reason all you feel is lonely.
Now it’s January and you’ve got goals and resolutions. Get fit, get that promotion, travel. Your mind starts to wonder… Wouldn’t it be sweet to share those experiences with somebody? After all, people tend to stick with resolutions about love more than fitness, according to a recent survey.
So you re-download Tinder — surely the all-time most deleted and re-added app of all time — and start swiping (here are some great non-Tinder apps if you’re over it). Could this be why Dating Sunday (last Sunday) has its reputation as the most popular day for dating? Of course it is.
And that brings us to now. It’s mid-January and the weather looks like total sh*t. You’re lonely AF. You start scrolling through your message histories to see who you could possibly bunk up with. There’s no one. This, my friends, is clearing season.
“Clearing season is definitive, urgent, dark,” writes the Vice writers who coined the term. “It’s DM or die. Plow or perish.”
Now while I enjoyed going down this rabbit hole of negativity with you, clearing season and its ugly partner cuffing season are total bullsh*t. Sure January sucks if you’re in a cold place. Humans aren’t supposed to live there, of course it sucks. And if you’re doing some radical new diet, then your mood is bound to be off. Still, that doesn’t mean the winter can’t be awesome while you’re single.
Get your work done. Get ripped. Stick to those goals. Bored? Read a book, join a class, give the middle finger to the snow and go out. The fact that Dating Sunday is the most popular time to look for a partner is a great sign that there are awesome matches out there.
When the time is right, someone great will come along. Or, summer will strike and you’ll want to be single anyway. Either one. Just don’t worry about these crappy dating generalizations and do you.
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